Where does the time go? It's already March? So, like a lot of women in their early 30's, my life is pretty typical... CRAZY! Trying to manage keeping my cool (and my brain) amongst the cleaning, work prep, diaper changing, breakfast, lunch and dinner making, keeping a toddler content, happy and busy, and a bit of unexpected nausea, as in at any moment's notice (thank you second baby!) Before you get all judgey about this being another blog from an ungrateful part-time stay-at-home mom, don't get me wrong. I love my life! I love my husband, I love my busy 2 year-old, and the little flutters inside my stomach make me giddy.
Just a little glimpse into our lives, which I've probably already written somewhere (just call it baby brain)... we bought a condo in September. So blessed, but with that, comes more financial responsibility. So trying to live the lifestyle that we want, while being able to still raise our child/children, both my hubby and I have taken on a few extra jobs. I work 2 days a week as a homeschool co-op teacher (best job ever), and have been subbing a bit more at two different schools, and sewing and creating baby blankets and making other creations to sell. My hubby is working hard at work, picking up a few football camps and training sessions on the side, which keeps him away from home more than we'd both like. And then, don't get me started on keeping our two year old happy!!! Actually, he is a crazy combination of busy and having an amazing attention span. He seriously could sit in front of the TV the whole day if I let him. (I don't, which then leads to some epic battles and heavy persuasion to go outside to ride his bike or scooter... And then he's all over the place! Running, jumping, climbing, throwing things, making messes, etc. He NEVER stops... unless a television is involved with Cars or Planes on!) Then add a pregnancy to the mix. We are so blessed beyond belief to have a healthy baby up to this point! For the most part, I haven't been too sick, but man, it has hit me pretty hard when it does! I'm finally getting a bit of my energy back.
Amongst the chaos, and break downs in communication and normal frustrations in all the hubbub of life, there remains a still small voice that reminds me... "I am here, I am listening, and I want to give you peace and rest.... Come find me." Unfortunately, I find Him and come to Him at "ungodly" hours of the night when I can't sleep. Even though there are times I wish I was sleeping instead of being awake at 2:30am, I do find peace and rest in Him. He is there, waiting for me to pick up the phone and invest in my relationship with Him. Although I should be dead tired, being awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night, wrestling my little guy into his carseat at 7am, and growing another human inside of me, I'm not. I have a renewed energy that only can come from my Jesus!
So, why am I writing this? To be an encouragement to all you working, part-time or full-time, or stay at home moms. Jesus is there in your chaos. He wants to carry your burdens, you just have to let him. Maybe you'll be smarter than me and take advantage of nap time or time after your little ones go to bed, but I pray you take that time to talk to Him, read, journal, or do whatever you need to to connect with our Savior! He's waiting with your side of peace!
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Friday Realizations... a little late
Dear Hubby,
Didn't get a chance to write my Friday letter yesterday because Apple was holding my computer hostage. But now, here I am, 10:52 on a Saturday night, writing your letter this week.
You are the most important thing to me in the world. This week was a rough one. Don't really know why we got in such a funk after such a good weekend last weekend. I know you is taking a toll on you. I'm so sorry that I can't do more for you in that area. I know a lot of times, you need me just to listen and support you, and a lot of times, I don't have the patience because I've spent my whole day listening to a 2-year-old telling me how life should be for him! I'm sorry. I want to be more understanding and helpful in that way. I love you. I want to be your helper in any way possible.
No matter how hard life gets and how disconnected we get, I want to be your helper and do anything and everything to make your life better.
I'm here for the journey... not just the ups, but the downs too. I know that even when we have our downs, or our disconnections, we'll get there. We'll get past it and we'll have a new story for our journey together.
So all that to say... tell me all your woes at work. Wake me up by weaving your legs with mine. Take some time for yourself so you can recharge to be the best husband and father you can be. I love you! I love you! I love you!
Okay, it's after 11, so it's time for me to hit the hay! Love you!
Your Wifey
Didn't get a chance to write my Friday letter yesterday because Apple was holding my computer hostage. But now, here I am, 10:52 on a Saturday night, writing your letter this week.
You are the most important thing to me in the world. This week was a rough one. Don't really know why we got in such a funk after such a good weekend last weekend. I know you is taking a toll on you. I'm so sorry that I can't do more for you in that area. I know a lot of times, you need me just to listen and support you, and a lot of times, I don't have the patience because I've spent my whole day listening to a 2-year-old telling me how life should be for him! I'm sorry. I want to be more understanding and helpful in that way. I love you. I want to be your helper in any way possible.
No matter how hard life gets and how disconnected we get, I want to be your helper and do anything and everything to make your life better.
I'm here for the journey... not just the ups, but the downs too. I know that even when we have our downs, or our disconnections, we'll get there. We'll get past it and we'll have a new story for our journey together.
So all that to say... tell me all your woes at work. Wake me up by weaving your legs with mine. Take some time for yourself so you can recharge to be the best husband and father you can be. I love you! I love you! I love you!
Okay, it's after 11, so it's time for me to hit the hay! Love you!
Your Wifey
Friday, January 23, 2015
To my husband... Friday Realizations
Dear Husband of mine,
So I'm a little behind in my New Year's "resolution," but it's still January, right? It's all good. Every week, I want to write you a note, tell you how much I love you, and maybe write things that we don't have time to talk about on a normal basis. So here's my first post...
Baby, I love you. These past few months have not been easy. We have been plugging along, doing everything that is expected us, but we really have lacked "connecting." This is not a secret to you... I know you feel it too... You just adjust to it better than I do. I crave connecting with you. I crave it. I love you so much and not connecting is the worst thing ever. The problem is, instead of curing it and making the effort, I sit and wallow that it's not what I want it to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... You deserve so much more than that. This is part of my new strategy. Adoring you through my words, and acknowledging that I've been wrong.
You are truly my favorite person in the world. More than our son, if you can believe that! I know life gets busy and things happen. I understand that the time or money might not be available for us to go on dates, but I want you to know that I appreciate the time and energy you spend with me. Even if it's watching my favorite show of Shark every Friday night with me! (Even though you want to watch a movie every week!) You are sacrificial and loving and I so appreciate that about you!
Can't wait to continue to write to my thoughts and love on you the way that God has called me as your wife. I love you!
Love,
Me
So I'm a little behind in my New Year's "resolution," but it's still January, right? It's all good. Every week, I want to write you a note, tell you how much I love you, and maybe write things that we don't have time to talk about on a normal basis. So here's my first post...
Baby, I love you. These past few months have not been easy. We have been plugging along, doing everything that is expected us, but we really have lacked "connecting." This is not a secret to you... I know you feel it too... You just adjust to it better than I do. I crave connecting with you. I crave it. I love you so much and not connecting is the worst thing ever. The problem is, instead of curing it and making the effort, I sit and wallow that it's not what I want it to me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... You deserve so much more than that. This is part of my new strategy. Adoring you through my words, and acknowledging that I've been wrong.
You are truly my favorite person in the world. More than our son, if you can believe that! I know life gets busy and things happen. I understand that the time or money might not be available for us to go on dates, but I want you to know that I appreciate the time and energy you spend with me. Even if it's watching my favorite show of Shark every Friday night with me! (Even though you want to watch a movie every week!) You are sacrificial and loving and I so appreciate that about you!
Can't wait to continue to write to my thoughts and love on you the way that God has called me as your wife. I love you!
Love,
Me
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
New Experiences
I wish you could see me right now. You would probably giggle. Heck< I would too... (If I wasn't trying to be SILENT so that my little man could take a much needed nap!) You are probably thinking, "Your kid should be adaptable. Get a sound machine, for heaven's sake! Make him get over the sounds, and make him deal with it." Okay, so here's the situation. I have two sound machines near his pack n' play right now. That's right... two! One with white noise and the other playing a lullaby (OVER AND OVER) and projecting little fishies on the ceiling. And I'm crouched behind the King size bed in the corner. That's right people... it's our first vacation in a HOTEL ROOM! We need all the prayer we can get. Here's how it came about.
We're in Vegas! Woohoo, right?!?!?! This girl can go 30 1/2 years without stepping foot in Las Vegas and now, here I am on my second trip in a month! Last month was a little different story. My man and I spent our first time away for 2 nights to vaca with our bowling league... yep, you read that right... our bowling league. We had a fun time hanging out, going to a movie, taking naps (on our own time), watching soccer, bowling, and staying up until all hours of the night exploring the city. (We didn't stay on the Strip, so we definitely made a late night Friday night run to the Strip to check it out. Let's be real... I had never been there... we HAD to check it out! And I am SURE glad we did. That makes this trip doable.
So it all started two days ago, when my man got a call from his assistant, explaining that his wife had emergency surgery on her appendix. Thankfully, it didn't burst, but she was uncomfortable and had it checked out. It was obvious to the doctors that it needed to come out. Again, thankfully, the procedure went great and she's recovering nicely. But the timing couldn't be worse. The two of them, my hubby and his assistant were set to go out to Vegas for a conference two days later (today). He decided that it would be best to stay home and help out where needed. That sent my wheels spinning and since I was going to my grandparents (which is on the way to Vegas from our house), I suggested that our family go out on Tuesday night to spend time with my grandparents and then the hubby could leave later on Wednesday morning. That sounded reasonable. Then I thought about it. Carl's going to be by himself... Maybe our little guy and I should go out with him. It was either spend time with our little guy and my grandparents for a few days away from Carl, or spend time with our little guy in Vegas during the day exploring, spending time in amazing pools and seeing new things and then hanging out with the hubs when he's done with the conference each night. Well, we chose the latter, with our one huge hangup... the sleeping situation. Our little man does not do well sleeping in the same room with us. It's just a fact. I was hoping that since he's older, maybe the circumstances would be different and he would be better. Well, an hour of fighting it proved me wrong, but let's be real... Mommy won. Little man is asleep (even though I'm a prisoner to the floor on the other side of the bed). It's a good thing he did end up falling asleep too. After visiting two pools in his stroller and a promise of the "poo" after a nap, I was hopeless that we weren't going to go to the pool today because I'm a woman of my word, and if he "didn't sleep, we weren't going!" And HOPEFULLY, this is good practice for him for tonight going to bed and the next two days in this room!
Anyways, I was nervous making this decision, because I really, truly am vacationing alone with a 20 month old because my other half is being a strength and conditioning nerd learning all sorts of new stuff all day, every day. Backing up, once we got to the hotel room, little man and I set off to find the pools and food and everything else. We found the first pool, no problem. Got lost going to the second pool, but asked a very nice security guard and he led us back to where we should go, chatting the whole way. On our way back to the room from the second pool, we stopped at a food court and I ordered some chicken strips at Johnny Rockets for us to share... 30 minutes later (Uhhhhgggg!) we got our food. While we were waiting, a sweet, but a little creepy teenage girl came up to the little guy and kept giving him fives and knuckles and then kept holding onto his hand. I was a little creeped out because she didn't say anything, just looked at him and kept playing with him. This went on for about 15 minutes. She did finally talk a bit, but very delayed. I really had no problem with her playing with my son, but she was very touchy and when she reached out to hold him, I put my foot down and said, "No, I don't think so. But thank you for playing with him." My first experience of cautiousness in this city. I'm sure I will have many more experiences to come.
Stay tuned for more adventures of my son and me in VEGAS!
We're in Vegas! Woohoo, right?!?!?! This girl can go 30 1/2 years without stepping foot in Las Vegas and now, here I am on my second trip in a month! Last month was a little different story. My man and I spent our first time away for 2 nights to vaca with our bowling league... yep, you read that right... our bowling league. We had a fun time hanging out, going to a movie, taking naps (on our own time), watching soccer, bowling, and staying up until all hours of the night exploring the city. (We didn't stay on the Strip, so we definitely made a late night Friday night run to the Strip to check it out. Let's be real... I had never been there... we HAD to check it out! And I am SURE glad we did. That makes this trip doable.
So it all started two days ago, when my man got a call from his assistant, explaining that his wife had emergency surgery on her appendix. Thankfully, it didn't burst, but she was uncomfortable and had it checked out. It was obvious to the doctors that it needed to come out. Again, thankfully, the procedure went great and she's recovering nicely. But the timing couldn't be worse. The two of them, my hubby and his assistant were set to go out to Vegas for a conference two days later (today). He decided that it would be best to stay home and help out where needed. That sent my wheels spinning and since I was going to my grandparents (which is on the way to Vegas from our house), I suggested that our family go out on Tuesday night to spend time with my grandparents and then the hubby could leave later on Wednesday morning. That sounded reasonable. Then I thought about it. Carl's going to be by himself... Maybe our little guy and I should go out with him. It was either spend time with our little guy and my grandparents for a few days away from Carl, or spend time with our little guy in Vegas during the day exploring, spending time in amazing pools and seeing new things and then hanging out with the hubs when he's done with the conference each night. Well, we chose the latter, with our one huge hangup... the sleeping situation. Our little man does not do well sleeping in the same room with us. It's just a fact. I was hoping that since he's older, maybe the circumstances would be different and he would be better. Well, an hour of fighting it proved me wrong, but let's be real... Mommy won. Little man is asleep (even though I'm a prisoner to the floor on the other side of the bed). It's a good thing he did end up falling asleep too. After visiting two pools in his stroller and a promise of the "poo" after a nap, I was hopeless that we weren't going to go to the pool today because I'm a woman of my word, and if he "didn't sleep, we weren't going!" And HOPEFULLY, this is good practice for him for tonight going to bed and the next two days in this room!
Anyways, I was nervous making this decision, because I really, truly am vacationing alone with a 20 month old because my other half is being a strength and conditioning nerd learning all sorts of new stuff all day, every day. Backing up, once we got to the hotel room, little man and I set off to find the pools and food and everything else. We found the first pool, no problem. Got lost going to the second pool, but asked a very nice security guard and he led us back to where we should go, chatting the whole way. On our way back to the room from the second pool, we stopped at a food court and I ordered some chicken strips at Johnny Rockets for us to share... 30 minutes later (Uhhhhgggg!) we got our food. While we were waiting, a sweet, but a little creepy teenage girl came up to the little guy and kept giving him fives and knuckles and then kept holding onto his hand. I was a little creeped out because she didn't say anything, just looked at him and kept playing with him. This went on for about 15 minutes. She did finally talk a bit, but very delayed. I really had no problem with her playing with my son, but she was very touchy and when she reached out to hold him, I put my foot down and said, "No, I don't think so. But thank you for playing with him." My first experience of cautiousness in this city. I'm sure I will have many more experiences to come.
Stay tuned for more adventures of my son and me in VEGAS!
Monday, June 9, 2014
Tales of an Average One-Income Family... Part one of the journey
So if you read in earlier posts, I quit my job almost exactly one year ago. What were you thinking, you might ask?!?!?! We live in Southern California, in Orange county, no less. It's expensive to live, and the hubby doesn't make that much money! But, you know what? By the grace of God, God has provided miraculously for us throughout the past year! So we're on to our next jaunt in our journey... looking to buy a house. "What?!?!" you say. "Are you crazy?" You say. "Are you going back to work so you can afford it?" Well, the answer is no. (mostly.) :)
We have thought long and hard about this decision. We have prayed like crazy. We are not that typical couple that is looking for a house because we want to own something and prove something to everyone around us. (1) We've have lived in 6 different apartments in the past 6 years. That's been rough, to say the least. We literally have boxes that we have been moving from house to house because maybe we'll need the stuff once we do "settle" down. What's the point in getting rid of a perfectly fine bathroom set, only to have to buy a new one when we need it? Anyways, that's one point. It's been rough not knowing if we'll be able to stay in a place once our lease is up, due to raised rent. (2) We have no debt. (3) When my father-in-law passed in December, (Yes, I know. I skipped that blog post.) we received an inheritance since my hubby was his only son. We decided that the money was not to be touched unless it's for a house downpayment.
So, now that you know the reasoning behind our decision, here's where the fun begins. I'm not going back to work full time, so that we can afford a house payment. That's not for us. So, with that being said, our house budget is based on one-income... not the highest budget, but doable. We've been researching houses and condos in all kinds of areas, trying to figure out the best situation for us. We have a real estate agent that is great and has been working around the clock, sending us info on a plethora of different options.
So enter today... our first "real" house-hunting adventure. Meeting with our agent, using the lock box and everything. We met after church... our first mistake. Our little man always has a long morning on Sundays, going to the nursery for two services. He usually needs to head right to nap time when we get home from church. Our goal was to just look at one place. Long story short, the place was okay, needed a lot of work, but was workable. The main storyline in this all is the major meltdown our son had in the house. All he wanted to do was go bye-bye when we were in the house, that our agent suggested that we go down to the park close by for him to play while she was able to talk more with my husband about particulars. Well, once we got out of the house, all he wanted was to go back in. Yep, a full blown meltdown ensued. My husband said later that he had never seen our little guy so upset or heard him scream so loud. We made it to the park. I hopped up and down on the (too old for a 19 mo. old) equipment, trying to keep the little dude safe, while we was apparently bored and nothing was going to make him happy. Finally, he broke free, trying to run to a little slide (on someones second story patio across the street). He made it to the grass, where I was able to catch him... another major flop down, where I decided to flop with him and wrangle him back to the equipment. That's when I felt it... yep, my first bee sting since I was eight, right on the side of my calf. At first, it just hurt, but trying to be calm and making sure that the little man didn't get stung too, I called to Carl to help me out. Getting little guy off the grass was my first successful goal. Everything else I was doing as a mom felt completely fruitless. After a few more minutes of discussion between the agent and my hubby, the little guy and I decided to start walking to the car. They got the hint and followed. Finally, we got our once again upset child in the car, ready for nap time. He kept saying "Let Go" which means we listened to our favorite song of the century "Let It Go" two and a half times before getting home and putting the little one down. Yikes. Carl then ran to the drug store to get aspirin for my sting and I laid down on the couch, contemplating the exhausting day we had just had. A little nap followed and then lots of talk about seeing more houses. My hubby and the agent had been emailing and texting about other houses we wanted to look at and she got the approval to look at a few that evening. Do we dare try it again?
Well, after a three hour nap and a much cooler outfit for the little man, I armed myself with books, cars, and snacks and the three of us headed out the door for another adventure. Looking at two new places this time, our experience was much more mild. We went back to the first place, took a look, then went on our way to process this huge 30-year decision. :) You like how dramatic I just was? It was actually funny, because on the stairs of the third place, our agent pulled the... "Okay, without looking at each other, you have to tell me which one you like." I totally felt like I was on HGTV's House Hunters, or My First Place or Property Virgins. :) I was stuck between the first and third, finally deciding on the first. The hubby chose the first and then changed his mind to the third.... At least we were on the same page! Next, we headed to Chili's to have a family dinner and enjoyed ourselves, talking about our future, loving on our sweet son who had a blast coloring, eating and playing with his trucks.
I know the rest of our day was rather anticlimactic, but the first half was such an overload, that I don't think I could have handled more. We basically decided at the end of it all, that we'll keep looking and try it all out another day. (That led to staying up past 11 with my hubby exploring other houses online.) This is going to be quite the process, but we know that ultimately, God is going to put us where he wants us and we hope to learn through this adventure to trust wholly in Him. He hasn't let us down yet! Stay tuned for more adventures to come!
We have thought long and hard about this decision. We have prayed like crazy. We are not that typical couple that is looking for a house because we want to own something and prove something to everyone around us. (1) We've have lived in 6 different apartments in the past 6 years. That's been rough, to say the least. We literally have boxes that we have been moving from house to house because maybe we'll need the stuff once we do "settle" down. What's the point in getting rid of a perfectly fine bathroom set, only to have to buy a new one when we need it? Anyways, that's one point. It's been rough not knowing if we'll be able to stay in a place once our lease is up, due to raised rent. (2) We have no debt. (3) When my father-in-law passed in December, (Yes, I know. I skipped that blog post.) we received an inheritance since my hubby was his only son. We decided that the money was not to be touched unless it's for a house downpayment.
So, now that you know the reasoning behind our decision, here's where the fun begins. I'm not going back to work full time, so that we can afford a house payment. That's not for us. So, with that being said, our house budget is based on one-income... not the highest budget, but doable. We've been researching houses and condos in all kinds of areas, trying to figure out the best situation for us. We have a real estate agent that is great and has been working around the clock, sending us info on a plethora of different options.
So enter today... our first "real" house-hunting adventure. Meeting with our agent, using the lock box and everything. We met after church... our first mistake. Our little man always has a long morning on Sundays, going to the nursery for two services. He usually needs to head right to nap time when we get home from church. Our goal was to just look at one place. Long story short, the place was okay, needed a lot of work, but was workable. The main storyline in this all is the major meltdown our son had in the house. All he wanted to do was go bye-bye when we were in the house, that our agent suggested that we go down to the park close by for him to play while she was able to talk more with my husband about particulars. Well, once we got out of the house, all he wanted was to go back in. Yep, a full blown meltdown ensued. My husband said later that he had never seen our little guy so upset or heard him scream so loud. We made it to the park. I hopped up and down on the (too old for a 19 mo. old) equipment, trying to keep the little dude safe, while we was apparently bored and nothing was going to make him happy. Finally, he broke free, trying to run to a little slide (on someones second story patio across the street). He made it to the grass, where I was able to catch him... another major flop down, where I decided to flop with him and wrangle him back to the equipment. That's when I felt it... yep, my first bee sting since I was eight, right on the side of my calf. At first, it just hurt, but trying to be calm and making sure that the little man didn't get stung too, I called to Carl to help me out. Getting little guy off the grass was my first successful goal. Everything else I was doing as a mom felt completely fruitless. After a few more minutes of discussion between the agent and my hubby, the little guy and I decided to start walking to the car. They got the hint and followed. Finally, we got our once again upset child in the car, ready for nap time. He kept saying "Let Go" which means we listened to our favorite song of the century "Let It Go" two and a half times before getting home and putting the little one down. Yikes. Carl then ran to the drug store to get aspirin for my sting and I laid down on the couch, contemplating the exhausting day we had just had. A little nap followed and then lots of talk about seeing more houses. My hubby and the agent had been emailing and texting about other houses we wanted to look at and she got the approval to look at a few that evening. Do we dare try it again?
Well, after a three hour nap and a much cooler outfit for the little man, I armed myself with books, cars, and snacks and the three of us headed out the door for another adventure. Looking at two new places this time, our experience was much more mild. We went back to the first place, took a look, then went on our way to process this huge 30-year decision. :) You like how dramatic I just was? It was actually funny, because on the stairs of the third place, our agent pulled the... "Okay, without looking at each other, you have to tell me which one you like." I totally felt like I was on HGTV's House Hunters, or My First Place or Property Virgins. :) I was stuck between the first and third, finally deciding on the first. The hubby chose the first and then changed his mind to the third.... At least we were on the same page! Next, we headed to Chili's to have a family dinner and enjoyed ourselves, talking about our future, loving on our sweet son who had a blast coloring, eating and playing with his trucks.
I know the rest of our day was rather anticlimactic, but the first half was such an overload, that I don't think I could have handled more. We basically decided at the end of it all, that we'll keep looking and try it all out another day. (That led to staying up past 11 with my hubby exploring other houses online.) This is going to be quite the process, but we know that ultimately, God is going to put us where he wants us and we hope to learn through this adventure to trust wholly in Him. He hasn't let us down yet! Stay tuned for more adventures to come!
Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Good Riddance, December and January.
Well, December has come and gone. So has January, almost... CRAZY! Where does the time go? Well, to be honest, those months are not months I ever would want to repeat. December was definitely the hardest month of our lives. I just read my last post... written the day before my father-in-law went home to be with Jesus. So, December 9 will forever be a date that I remember, a bittersweet day that Carl Sr.'s suffering ended. Obviously, it began our grief. Christmas without him was hard. The hardest part is the "sad moments" that I catch my husband having, in remembrance of his dad. Whoo... hard.
Then, January started. We were high on life. Ready for the fresh start that seems to come naturally with a new calendar year. For us... it began a month of sickness for all three of us. Yikes. January 3rd started out normally, with our little guy babbling about in his crib and my hubby was going into work for the morning, just to get things squared away before school came back in session the following week. As my husband was walking out the door, I went into our little guy's room, to be greeted by a happy, one-eyed little guy (his left eye was swollen almost shut.) I shouted to the hubby (the door was still open) and he came in. We made a rapid decision to take him to the doctor together. Turned out to be an eyelid infection, treatable with meds. Three days later, (Monday) little man got the flu. Worst. night. ever. I have never hurt so much for another person. Our little guy was so helpless and puking a total of 5 times throughout the night. Aghhhhhh. It just makes me so sad to even think about it. Tuesday was a lay-low day. Wednesday, more throwing up for the little guy. Thursday night, my husband went down and ended up puking on Friday morning. Sunday, it was my turn. Seriously, it was awful. As I was starting to feel better, I developed a cough that turned into an awful cold that lasted over a week. Oh yeah, amongst my sickness, the little guy decided to get croup and ended us up in the ER last weekend. I can finally say, 10 days later, we are all healthy, for now.
Yep. Glad these last months are over. But here's the deal. God is good. Our family is strong and can get through anything together. Our marriage hasn't been this good in a very long time. We are on the same page and have common goals, working on our marriage, working on being the best parents that we can be (with God's help), and finding more joy in Jesus everyday. My relationship with my mother-in-law has never been so strong either. We've been able to talk and establish boundaries in our roles as mom and grandma to our little man. It's all good. God is good and we are completely blessed. Here's to a better February. And if it's not and we have new challenges, I hope and pray God will use those challenges and me to build more joy in Him.
Then, January started. We were high on life. Ready for the fresh start that seems to come naturally with a new calendar year. For us... it began a month of sickness for all three of us. Yikes. January 3rd started out normally, with our little guy babbling about in his crib and my hubby was going into work for the morning, just to get things squared away before school came back in session the following week. As my husband was walking out the door, I went into our little guy's room, to be greeted by a happy, one-eyed little guy (his left eye was swollen almost shut.) I shouted to the hubby (the door was still open) and he came in. We made a rapid decision to take him to the doctor together. Turned out to be an eyelid infection, treatable with meds. Three days later, (Monday) little man got the flu. Worst. night. ever. I have never hurt so much for another person. Our little guy was so helpless and puking a total of 5 times throughout the night. Aghhhhhh. It just makes me so sad to even think about it. Tuesday was a lay-low day. Wednesday, more throwing up for the little guy. Thursday night, my husband went down and ended up puking on Friday morning. Sunday, it was my turn. Seriously, it was awful. As I was starting to feel better, I developed a cough that turned into an awful cold that lasted over a week. Oh yeah, amongst my sickness, the little guy decided to get croup and ended us up in the ER last weekend. I can finally say, 10 days later, we are all healthy, for now.
Yep. Glad these last months are over. But here's the deal. God is good. Our family is strong and can get through anything together. Our marriage hasn't been this good in a very long time. We are on the same page and have common goals, working on our marriage, working on being the best parents that we can be (with God's help), and finding more joy in Jesus everyday. My relationship with my mother-in-law has never been so strong either. We've been able to talk and establish boundaries in our roles as mom and grandma to our little man. It's all good. God is good and we are completely blessed. Here's to a better February. And if it's not and we have new challenges, I hope and pray God will use those challenges and me to build more joy in Him.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
The Valley of the Shadow of Death
So... I was watching the Ellen DeGeneres Show a few days ago and saw that they were giving tickets away to the 12 Days of Giveaways. So... of course I applied. In the application, there was a part to write my story. Immediately after I sent it in, I regretted it. I told my story, but not my whole story. So with everything going on, here it is.
The Ellen version : (something like this)
I'm a newly "retired" teacher of 8 years that is blessed to say home with our little one year old ball of energy. My husband has been working extra hours, extra camps as a strength coach at a private high school, and writing articles online. I have been taking any subbing jobs I can get my hands on and trying to start my own business selling fleece blankets and flannel receiving blankets. Doing anything we can to make ends meet. (and then I went on to tell how our little guy loves to dance with Ellen when I have the show on.)
Okay... so here's the long version... Hold on to your hats.
It started a year ago (well, before that, but we'll start this at Christmas last year.) We had a 6 week old. Oh my goodness. We were tired, not sleeping and all adjusting to our new life. The holidays are always a bit stressful trying to figure out which side of the family gets what day... You know all that mumbo jumbo... Anyways, we decided to spend Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with my husband's family. When we arrived at my in-laws, our little guy was super fussy and my father in law wasn't feeling great, but he rallied through and we ended up getting ONE picture of our little guy on Christmas day. It's a sweet picture of his grandpa holding him.
A little background on my sweet father-in-law... In the summer of 2012, he was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, causing his lungs to shut down. He's had symptoms for a few years, but he gradually was getting worse, having a hard time breathing and having a terrible cough.
Fast forward to 2013 - Carl Sr. (Yes, my husband is a II, and we named our little guy after him, so he's a III), was put on oxygen in February, and was put on hospice at the end of March. At the time, I was still working as a teacher, loving my job, but being a mom AND a teacher was getting harder by the day. The day of signing my contract for the following school year was coming closer and I didn't know what to do. My husband and I talked daily about what life would look like if I stayed home. Obviously, it would be tight money-wise, but something inside me longed to be able to raise our little guy and be a more attentive wife. And in it all, we thought it would give us some flexibility to be available to help with my in-laws if need be. We finally made the decision to try it out, for at least a year. Oooo... talk about a leap of faith.
Well, the school year ended, I packed up my classroom and we started our summer! We started our weekly weekend hour and a half treks down to see my in-laws on the weekends. We have seen Carl Sr. gradually deteriorate. In June, he started his confinement to bed and in July, the hospital bed arrived. He was to turn 70 at the end of July, and we weren't sure he was going to make it. Well... he did and we had a wonderful celebration in his room (Complete with a candle and us all freaking out because of the oxygen in the room, which created a great memory of laughs!). We've had many celebrations in the last few months that we weren't sure he would be around for. He saw his son (my hubby), turn 30 and his grandson turn 1.
With the school year approaching, I had a million mixed emotions. I thought I was going to miss going back to work. What if I got bored? What if we can't make it financially? I was reaffirmed of our decision on August 28, the day I was to go back to work. We had a busy (HOT) day and when we got home, I noticed the little one not cooling down from being the in the car. I thought he was just hot, but after taking his temp, I realized that he had a 102.7 degree fever. Imagine my guilt if I had gone to work that day and had to call in sick for the rest of the week. Instantly, I praised God for our situation and allowing me to stay home. Well, the school year got started, football season began, and our weekend trips continued. To say the least, things have been wearing on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even on our family and marriage.
Okay, to add onto it... my mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer in August. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! She had a mastectomy on September 17 with a 6 week expected recovery. My husband took some time off to be with her, my sister-in-law took ALL of her 5 weeks to live with her mom and take care of her. Thankfully, they were able to get some extra in-home care. And in all of this... I'm stuck at home because the baby couldn't be around. This was not the plan. The plan was for me to be home and available to my husband at work, to be able to go down to the in-laws to help, and I couldn't. I was helpless. And lonely. Because of our unreliability and not knowing what each new would bring, a lot of our friends have backed off because we were never really available to do anything or be there for them.
Through it all, my husband has stayed strong, and really had some good talks with his dad about heaven and our heavenly Father. To see his faith increase through this turmoil has been inspiring. It's so hard to see my father-in-law suffer, but it's also incredibly hard to see my husband hurt.
On October 31, our little routine was drastically altered when I got a call from my mother-in-law saying that Carl Sr. was in the hospital. Calm, teacher Carrie took over, called my husband, and told him that he needed to leave right away. Carl Sr. was in the hospital for 9 days, in and out of ICU, sent home to "rest comfortably." There was nothing more the doctors could do. So, that brings me up to date...almost.
Thanksgiving was a rough one. (see past post) Then this last Wednesday, my husband got a call from his mom telling him that his father was seeing his last days. We made arrangements, cancelled our weekend trip to northern California, and my husband has spent the last few days at his parents house, unsure of when he will return home. We are all basket cases so say the least.
So that brings me to writing this post. There's so much going on and this is my only outlet. I have no readers at this time, but that's not the point. The point is now, I can look back at this post and see how God has worked through this time of turmoil. I think about my original "story" for the Ellen DeGeneres show and I regret not telling my whole story. I think selfishly, "Maybe I would have been picked. We NEED a giveaway!" Well, in all honesty, we don't. I need to be content with the blessings God has given me. God is good and teaching us all so much in this valley. Stay tuned.
The Ellen version : (something like this)
I'm a newly "retired" teacher of 8 years that is blessed to say home with our little one year old ball of energy. My husband has been working extra hours, extra camps as a strength coach at a private high school, and writing articles online. I have been taking any subbing jobs I can get my hands on and trying to start my own business selling fleece blankets and flannel receiving blankets. Doing anything we can to make ends meet. (and then I went on to tell how our little guy loves to dance with Ellen when I have the show on.)
Okay... so here's the long version... Hold on to your hats.
It started a year ago (well, before that, but we'll start this at Christmas last year.) We had a 6 week old. Oh my goodness. We were tired, not sleeping and all adjusting to our new life. The holidays are always a bit stressful trying to figure out which side of the family gets what day... You know all that mumbo jumbo... Anyways, we decided to spend Christmas Eve with my family and Christmas Day with my husband's family. When we arrived at my in-laws, our little guy was super fussy and my father in law wasn't feeling great, but he rallied through and we ended up getting ONE picture of our little guy on Christmas day. It's a sweet picture of his grandpa holding him.
A little background on my sweet father-in-law... In the summer of 2012, he was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, causing his lungs to shut down. He's had symptoms for a few years, but he gradually was getting worse, having a hard time breathing and having a terrible cough.
Fast forward to 2013 - Carl Sr. (Yes, my husband is a II, and we named our little guy after him, so he's a III), was put on oxygen in February, and was put on hospice at the end of March. At the time, I was still working as a teacher, loving my job, but being a mom AND a teacher was getting harder by the day. The day of signing my contract for the following school year was coming closer and I didn't know what to do. My husband and I talked daily about what life would look like if I stayed home. Obviously, it would be tight money-wise, but something inside me longed to be able to raise our little guy and be a more attentive wife. And in it all, we thought it would give us some flexibility to be available to help with my in-laws if need be. We finally made the decision to try it out, for at least a year. Oooo... talk about a leap of faith.
Well, the school year ended, I packed up my classroom and we started our summer! We started our weekly weekend hour and a half treks down to see my in-laws on the weekends. We have seen Carl Sr. gradually deteriorate. In June, he started his confinement to bed and in July, the hospital bed arrived. He was to turn 70 at the end of July, and we weren't sure he was going to make it. Well... he did and we had a wonderful celebration in his room (Complete with a candle and us all freaking out because of the oxygen in the room, which created a great memory of laughs!). We've had many celebrations in the last few months that we weren't sure he would be around for. He saw his son (my hubby), turn 30 and his grandson turn 1.
With the school year approaching, I had a million mixed emotions. I thought I was going to miss going back to work. What if I got bored? What if we can't make it financially? I was reaffirmed of our decision on August 28, the day I was to go back to work. We had a busy (HOT) day and when we got home, I noticed the little one not cooling down from being the in the car. I thought he was just hot, but after taking his temp, I realized that he had a 102.7 degree fever. Imagine my guilt if I had gone to work that day and had to call in sick for the rest of the week. Instantly, I praised God for our situation and allowing me to stay home. Well, the school year got started, football season began, and our weekend trips continued. To say the least, things have been wearing on us physically, emotionally, spiritually, and even on our family and marriage.
Okay, to add onto it... my mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer in August. SERIOUSLY?!?!?! She had a mastectomy on September 17 with a 6 week expected recovery. My husband took some time off to be with her, my sister-in-law took ALL of her 5 weeks to live with her mom and take care of her. Thankfully, they were able to get some extra in-home care. And in all of this... I'm stuck at home because the baby couldn't be around. This was not the plan. The plan was for me to be home and available to my husband at work, to be able to go down to the in-laws to help, and I couldn't. I was helpless. And lonely. Because of our unreliability and not knowing what each new would bring, a lot of our friends have backed off because we were never really available to do anything or be there for them.
Through it all, my husband has stayed strong, and really had some good talks with his dad about heaven and our heavenly Father. To see his faith increase through this turmoil has been inspiring. It's so hard to see my father-in-law suffer, but it's also incredibly hard to see my husband hurt.
On October 31, our little routine was drastically altered when I got a call from my mother-in-law saying that Carl Sr. was in the hospital. Calm, teacher Carrie took over, called my husband, and told him that he needed to leave right away. Carl Sr. was in the hospital for 9 days, in and out of ICU, sent home to "rest comfortably." There was nothing more the doctors could do. So, that brings me up to date...almost.
Thanksgiving was a rough one. (see past post) Then this last Wednesday, my husband got a call from his mom telling him that his father was seeing his last days. We made arrangements, cancelled our weekend trip to northern California, and my husband has spent the last few days at his parents house, unsure of when he will return home. We are all basket cases so say the least.
So that brings me to writing this post. There's so much going on and this is my only outlet. I have no readers at this time, but that's not the point. The point is now, I can look back at this post and see how God has worked through this time of turmoil. I think about my original "story" for the Ellen DeGeneres show and I regret not telling my whole story. I think selfishly, "Maybe I would have been picked. We NEED a giveaway!" Well, in all honesty, we don't. I need to be content with the blessings God has given me. God is good and teaching us all so much in this valley. Stay tuned.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Letting Go
My question of the day? Where do I belong? Today is a rough one. Not really what you expect for a Thanksgiving post, right? Downright selfish. Let me explain.
I am so incredibly thankful for everything in my life. God and I have been on a roller coaster ride this year, but I am so thankful for Him and the salvation that I receive even though I don't deserve it. I'm thankful for my husband, who I've also been on the roller coaster of life with recently. Our circumstances have been hard lately, really hard, but he has stuck with me, still loves me and forgives me on a daily basis. He still tangles his feet with mine each night with unconditional love. I'm thankful for my son, who challenges me and gets more independent DAILY. He's my pride and joy and I live for those moments when I ask for a kiss and he leans in and makes a smacking noise and buries his head in my chest. There are a million other things I'm thankful for... a roof over our heads, my family, my in-laws, friends, food, my creative juices that produce so much joy.
So why am I feeling so blue? Well, this is the first Thanksgiving in four years that my parents have been in the state of California. They are spending it with my grandparents, my brother and his family, and my brother's in-laws. I'm extremely happy that they get to be with family, but in reality... I'm lonely.
We are at my in-laws. My husband has spent the day with his dad in his room, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have kidnapped my child, and my brother-in-law has been in and out all day. Every time my little guy comes in and I try to be with him, play with him, feed him, whatever, my mother-in-law seems to override me in every sense of the word. All day, more anger and hurt has built up because I don't feel supported and I downright feel like I'm a failure. Adding insult to injury, all my little guy wants is what everyone else is offering, not Mommy.
I didn't get to talk to my family until the afternoon, and I didn't hear from one single friend wishing me a happy thanksgiving (until after I texted them)... Okay, that last part may seem weird, but we've spent many Thanksgivings down at my in-laws and I've enjoyed every year hearing from my friends all day, knowing that I'm thought of. This year, it wasn't there... Instantly, I don't blame them... I think... How bad of a friend am I that no one thinks of me? Life is so hard.
I know God is good. I know there is a purpose in this sorrow and season of life. I know there is. But this is real life. Of course, I go on Instagram and FB and see these happy, smiling faces and yummy huge meals, and I could get jealous, knowing that's not where I'm at. I could join them with a family photo of our own (the one of 27 that our little one was smiling because I was tickling his leg), but I don't do either of those. My husband often reminds me that Insta and FB are snapshots of the best of everyone's life, it doesn't show the whole picture.
I know that I have a happy life, a happy family, and friends that love me. I'm just in a low place and even as I'm writing, my spirits are being lifted. I don't know if it's just letting out my feelings, admitting the pain and feelings that I've been feeling all day. Or maybe it's truly God lifting my burden, because it's too heavy for me to carry on my own. I want to believe it's the second. He knows my sorrows. He wants to carry my burden, but I have to admit that I'm hurting and that I can't do it on my own in order for God to help me. I like to take control, even if it just is holding onto anger. I have control of that. But a simple little exercise that my dad taught me when I was a little girl comes to mind. Anytime I was angry and wouldn't let go of control, my dad would make me uncross my arms, unclench my fists, and hold out my hands with my palms up. Doing that always made me drop my defenses and I would picture my control being let go and floating up to God. I know that might sound completely hokey, but it's what I imagined as a little girl and I still do, to this day. Tonight, as I sat at the table before writing, I sat in front of my computer for a few minutes with my hands out, palms up. I know God has my control in his hands, along with my worry, my hurt, my anger, and my sorrow. Things will turn around. I know it.
I'm thankful for this season, as difficult as it may seem right now. I am. At least I'm learning in this process and hopefully will continue to grow in my faith and in character. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope and pray that you all are able to count your blessings, even in the low places in life. It's real life people. It happens and God is good... all the time!
I am so incredibly thankful for everything in my life. God and I have been on a roller coaster ride this year, but I am so thankful for Him and the salvation that I receive even though I don't deserve it. I'm thankful for my husband, who I've also been on the roller coaster of life with recently. Our circumstances have been hard lately, really hard, but he has stuck with me, still loves me and forgives me on a daily basis. He still tangles his feet with mine each night with unconditional love. I'm thankful for my son, who challenges me and gets more independent DAILY. He's my pride and joy and I live for those moments when I ask for a kiss and he leans in and makes a smacking noise and buries his head in my chest. There are a million other things I'm thankful for... a roof over our heads, my family, my in-laws, friends, food, my creative juices that produce so much joy.
So why am I feeling so blue? Well, this is the first Thanksgiving in four years that my parents have been in the state of California. They are spending it with my grandparents, my brother and his family, and my brother's in-laws. I'm extremely happy that they get to be with family, but in reality... I'm lonely.
We are at my in-laws. My husband has spent the day with his dad in his room, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law have kidnapped my child, and my brother-in-law has been in and out all day. Every time my little guy comes in and I try to be with him, play with him, feed him, whatever, my mother-in-law seems to override me in every sense of the word. All day, more anger and hurt has built up because I don't feel supported and I downright feel like I'm a failure. Adding insult to injury, all my little guy wants is what everyone else is offering, not Mommy.
I didn't get to talk to my family until the afternoon, and I didn't hear from one single friend wishing me a happy thanksgiving (until after I texted them)... Okay, that last part may seem weird, but we've spent many Thanksgivings down at my in-laws and I've enjoyed every year hearing from my friends all day, knowing that I'm thought of. This year, it wasn't there... Instantly, I don't blame them... I think... How bad of a friend am I that no one thinks of me? Life is so hard.
I know God is good. I know there is a purpose in this sorrow and season of life. I know there is. But this is real life. Of course, I go on Instagram and FB and see these happy, smiling faces and yummy huge meals, and I could get jealous, knowing that's not where I'm at. I could join them with a family photo of our own (the one of 27 that our little one was smiling because I was tickling his leg), but I don't do either of those. My husband often reminds me that Insta and FB are snapshots of the best of everyone's life, it doesn't show the whole picture.
I know that I have a happy life, a happy family, and friends that love me. I'm just in a low place and even as I'm writing, my spirits are being lifted. I don't know if it's just letting out my feelings, admitting the pain and feelings that I've been feeling all day. Or maybe it's truly God lifting my burden, because it's too heavy for me to carry on my own. I want to believe it's the second. He knows my sorrows. He wants to carry my burden, but I have to admit that I'm hurting and that I can't do it on my own in order for God to help me. I like to take control, even if it just is holding onto anger. I have control of that. But a simple little exercise that my dad taught me when I was a little girl comes to mind. Anytime I was angry and wouldn't let go of control, my dad would make me uncross my arms, unclench my fists, and hold out my hands with my palms up. Doing that always made me drop my defenses and I would picture my control being let go and floating up to God. I know that might sound completely hokey, but it's what I imagined as a little girl and I still do, to this day. Tonight, as I sat at the table before writing, I sat in front of my computer for a few minutes with my hands out, palms up. I know God has my control in his hands, along with my worry, my hurt, my anger, and my sorrow. Things will turn around. I know it.
I'm thankful for this season, as difficult as it may seem right now. I am. At least I'm learning in this process and hopefully will continue to grow in my faith and in character. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I hope and pray that you all are able to count your blessings, even in the low places in life. It's real life people. It happens and God is good... all the time!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Sweet Moments and Late Nights
Life is crazy right now. Uncertain. Busy. Disheartening.
So... we're 9 months down the road and still not quite sleeping through the night. Our little guy is still waking up about once a night (at least), but because of this stubborn momma, he's learned to soothe himself and go back to sleep.
Last night was a different story. You moms will know what I mean. I woke up to a screaming baby. SCREAMMMING. I woke up with a start, quickly pushed my phone's screen on. 2:08am. Ugghhhh. My stubborn streak screamed, "Let him figure it out." But something else told me,"Go to him." I obeyed the second voice. I was met by my little 9 month old with tears streaming down his face. My first thought... "I hate teething! I need sleep." I would have normally popped in his pacifier, laid him on his back, and left the room. Last night was different. I picked up my little guy and felt him take a breath of relief, then try to settle in my arms, but he was restless and continued to fuss. I gave him those fabulous natural teething tablets and fought the urge to put him down and get myself back to bed. I held him. I held him tight. I took him in my arms and started singing. The songs I started with were his usual "Jesus Loves Me," and "Mommy Loves Tre" to the tune of Frere Jacques. Then worship songs started pouring out of my mouth. By the third or fourth song, my wiggly, always ready to move son was nestled on my chest, breathing the deep breaths of sleep.
I was in little man's room for about 15 minutes total, but for the first time, I didn't want it to end. I could picture in my head 5 years from now, yearning for these moments of dependability and pure surrender into Mommy's arms. After putting him back in his crib, I lingered a bit, loving these precious moments. I'm tired. I'd love for this little guy to sleep through the whole night on a consistent basis, but I'll never have this time back. I love him... at every hour of every day.
And then, as I'm writing this, I realize... God feels the same way for all of his children... but times a million. He longs for us to want him, cry for him, find comfort in him. He wants us to find our greatest joy in Him. If we do this, we bring Him joy and we are safe in His arms.
In all the uncertainty of life right now, I cry out to Him. I want to rest in Him, knowing that we're safe and He's got a plan for all this craziness.
So... we're 9 months down the road and still not quite sleeping through the night. Our little guy is still waking up about once a night (at least), but because of this stubborn momma, he's learned to soothe himself and go back to sleep.
Last night was a different story. You moms will know what I mean. I woke up to a screaming baby. SCREAMMMING. I woke up with a start, quickly pushed my phone's screen on. 2:08am. Ugghhhh. My stubborn streak screamed, "Let him figure it out." But something else told me,"Go to him." I obeyed the second voice. I was met by my little 9 month old with tears streaming down his face. My first thought... "I hate teething! I need sleep." I would have normally popped in his pacifier, laid him on his back, and left the room. Last night was different. I picked up my little guy and felt him take a breath of relief, then try to settle in my arms, but he was restless and continued to fuss. I gave him those fabulous natural teething tablets and fought the urge to put him down and get myself back to bed. I held him. I held him tight. I took him in my arms and started singing. The songs I started with were his usual "Jesus Loves Me," and "Mommy Loves Tre" to the tune of Frere Jacques. Then worship songs started pouring out of my mouth. By the third or fourth song, my wiggly, always ready to move son was nestled on my chest, breathing the deep breaths of sleep.
I was in little man's room for about 15 minutes total, but for the first time, I didn't want it to end. I could picture in my head 5 years from now, yearning for these moments of dependability and pure surrender into Mommy's arms. After putting him back in his crib, I lingered a bit, loving these precious moments. I'm tired. I'd love for this little guy to sleep through the whole night on a consistent basis, but I'll never have this time back. I love him... at every hour of every day.
And then, as I'm writing this, I realize... God feels the same way for all of his children... but times a million. He longs for us to want him, cry for him, find comfort in him. He wants us to find our greatest joy in Him. If we do this, we bring Him joy and we are safe in His arms.
In all the uncertainty of life right now, I cry out to Him. I want to rest in Him, knowing that we're safe and He's got a plan for all this craziness.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
New life...
So... I've had this blog for a few years... written once or twice, not shared it with ANYONE... just a place for me to write. Well... my life is different, very, very different... and it's time to share. Time to step out of my little world and share my life... my heart, my God, my family, just plain old me!
So I mentioned I have a new life. Well there are several changes that I'd probably need to share for you to understand. First of all, I'm a mom! Wait, what?!?!?! Yep... my little guy is 8 1/2 months old! Holy cow! He's one of the hugest joys of my life. I guess that's what this post is about... my joys! Adjusting to life being a mom has been the craziest experience. That in itself should be a post, and will be in the future.
The second change in my life is that I have a new career. It's called being a professional stay-at-home. Wait... again... what? It's TRUE! I have given up my eight year career of teaching for a new one. Yes, I'm completely overwhelmed with joy that my husband and I have made this decision for my family, but it's a complete and total change of perspective and lifestyle.
The next change is my spiritual life. Okay...one more time... wait, what?!?!? I thought that you were a good Christian girl that loved Jesus and wanted to live her life out loud. Well, okay. Yep... that's what I thought too. But I guess that's a mind shift too. I truly do love Jesus... that's no different, but here I go.... putting myself out there... I don't think that I've loved Jesus to the fullest. I "used" him when I needed him. But now... I LOVE JESUS! I want to share him with everyone I meet. I want to read about Him. I want to learn more about Him. I want to talk about Him. I want to pray all the time. I have been at my church for almost seven years, and honestly, been "joyed" to death. I finally have gotten the picture. I have purpose and drive to find joy in Him.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Lots more to come. (When my busy little guy gives me a chance to write!) :)
So I mentioned I have a new life. Well there are several changes that I'd probably need to share for you to understand. First of all, I'm a mom! Wait, what?!?!?! Yep... my little guy is 8 1/2 months old! Holy cow! He's one of the hugest joys of my life. I guess that's what this post is about... my joys! Adjusting to life being a mom has been the craziest experience. That in itself should be a post, and will be in the future.
The second change in my life is that I have a new career. It's called being a professional stay-at-home. Wait... again... what? It's TRUE! I have given up my eight year career of teaching for a new one. Yes, I'm completely overwhelmed with joy that my husband and I have made this decision for my family, but it's a complete and total change of perspective and lifestyle.
The next change is my spiritual life. Okay...one more time... wait, what?!?!? I thought that you were a good Christian girl that loved Jesus and wanted to live her life out loud. Well, okay. Yep... that's what I thought too. But I guess that's a mind shift too. I truly do love Jesus... that's no different, but here I go.... putting myself out there... I don't think that I've loved Jesus to the fullest. I "used" him when I needed him. But now... I LOVE JESUS! I want to share him with everyone I meet. I want to read about Him. I want to learn more about Him. I want to talk about Him. I want to pray all the time. I have been at my church for almost seven years, and honestly, been "joyed" to death. I finally have gotten the picture. I have purpose and drive to find joy in Him.
So, that's me in a nutshell. Lots more to come. (When my busy little guy gives me a chance to write!) :)
Thursday, March 15, 2012
It's a "process"
So... there are so many phases of life, and in every stage, it seems that we're always looking forward to the next phase of life, and not necessarily enjoying the current stage. Well... I'm in the next phase and I can't believe I'm finally here. It's totally unreal. You might be saying, "What is she talking about?" Well, let me go backwards a bit... about 5 years...
Spring 2007... I was in love! I had been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, after knowing him for over 5 years. I was ready for the next step... ready to be engaged and ready for that thing called marriage. Well, after a lot of "discussion," I knew it was going to be a while before my guy was going to gt to the same place I was. Then summer happened... pretty hard one. My boyfriend had gotten an awesome "career" job, even though he had a semester of college left. His first day on the job, he woke up puking and thus started his six months of sickness. All summer long, he was up and down, never feeling right, but doing his best to do his job and take his summer class. On the other hand, I was waitressing, had just left one job to start another in the fall. In the least, you could say we were in "transition." We went to a few weddings, and I had the itch. But he assured me, it was going to be a while, even though I was allowed to go look at rings with my best friend. My brother was getting married in August, so I knew that there was no way we could be in that next "stage" yet, but I so wanted to be there. I wasn't content and was always pushing. To say the lead, looking back on the situation, I didn't make it easy on my guy. August 11th came and went, with my brother happily married. I loved it and was so happy for them, but still wanted to be there myself. So... after the wedding, we had an "end of the summer" hoo-haw planned with a visit to friends in Phoenix, followed by a flight up to my parents, then a drive down to his parents. Well, to say the least... that was a perfect setting to get engaged. So, without further ado, August 15th, my life changed... I was in the next phase... an engaged girl.
Fall 2007 ... too long of a story to include in this one, but Carl's sicknesses struck back with a respiratory infection (on my birthday, no less), that lasted 3 weeks. Then the fever and vomiting came. He ended up in the ER a few night in a row, ending with being admitted to the hospital with possible meningitis. Yep. That was a pretty defining moment in my life. I could lose this man... I just got this new phase of life less than two months ago... I'm supposed to marry this man in less than 10 months. Well, he pulled through. We were standing on the alter 10 months later and I thought, "This is it! I'm finally here. I made it to the next step."
After that day, it was quite an adjustment to get used to marriage. Something I hadn't really prepared myself well for. I don't think I was ready for the challenges, but also the extreme fun that we've been able to have together. Of course, the inevitable happened... the talk about having babies. We had talked before getting married about being married for about two years, then the "Baby talk" would start. Of course, I was ready for this next phase sooner than that, but he wasn't ready. We hit the two year mark, and truly, God made it really clear that we were in no way, shape, or form ready to have child in the crazy busy life that we led. Since that time, a baby nephew was born and he has been a true joy in our lives, holding me back, enjoying the "auntie" stage, because I knew the "mommy" stage would get here soon enough, but my longing to be a mom never went away. I thought about what it was going to be like to be pregnant, what I'd look like, what our kid was going to look like, how it would act, if it'd be a sleeper or a crier. With all this wonder, I was freaked. I knew, along with all the other phases of life, I couldn't go back.
Fast forward to Fall 2011... I was feeling the itch again... the one I knew all too well that said "I'm over this stage, ready for the next one." It didn't help that EVERYONE we knew was starting to announce that their bundles of joy were coming in the summer. I felt restless. On one hand, I was ready, but on the other hand, fear crept over me because of the unknown. It's been a process to get to this point, have I even learned ANYTHING about contentment?
Well, January came. We had discussed getting "off the pill" and not preventing the baby making anymore, but something really significant happened. We moved. "To a bigger place to get ready for the new phase?" you might say. Well, no actually. We moved to a smaller apartment, and I realized, I finally did it... I'm content and I totally trust God to take me into the next stage when He's ready to. So, deciding this, at the end of January, I took the leap of faith, stopping taking the medication, and full well knowing that it could take a while for God to bless us into this stage of anticipated parenthood.
Well.. that was short lived. I wasn't sure how my body was going to react to change of hormone levels and everything, but I truly was able to relax and see what God had in store for us... then my period never came.
WHAT?!?!?! I'm pregnant!!!! I can't even tell you how blessed Carl and I both feel... it's unreal. I'm only 7 weeks along, but with every sharp pain, and getting up in the middle of night to pee, I thank God for blessing us with this possibility of a baby. I'm eating the best I can, and just dedicating this child into His arms, praying that he will keep this precious thing safe until I can hold him/her in my arms in November.
Now, with this, I'm trying to take it all in. Not "wish" I was already a parent, but enjoy and have joy in the "process" of preparation. Okay, so I could keep writing and writing and writing, but I'm not going to. There will be many more reflections to come. (isn't it funny that I entered this new phase that is drastically going to change my body, just as I am in the best shape of my life!?!*Last post* God has quite the sense of humor!!!) Good night for now!
Spring 2007... I was in love! I had been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, after knowing him for over 5 years. I was ready for the next step... ready to be engaged and ready for that thing called marriage. Well, after a lot of "discussion," I knew it was going to be a while before my guy was going to gt to the same place I was. Then summer happened... pretty hard one. My boyfriend had gotten an awesome "career" job, even though he had a semester of college left. His first day on the job, he woke up puking and thus started his six months of sickness. All summer long, he was up and down, never feeling right, but doing his best to do his job and take his summer class. On the other hand, I was waitressing, had just left one job to start another in the fall. In the least, you could say we were in "transition." We went to a few weddings, and I had the itch. But he assured me, it was going to be a while, even though I was allowed to go look at rings with my best friend. My brother was getting married in August, so I knew that there was no way we could be in that next "stage" yet, but I so wanted to be there. I wasn't content and was always pushing. To say the lead, looking back on the situation, I didn't make it easy on my guy. August 11th came and went, with my brother happily married. I loved it and was so happy for them, but still wanted to be there myself. So... after the wedding, we had an "end of the summer" hoo-haw planned with a visit to friends in Phoenix, followed by a flight up to my parents, then a drive down to his parents. Well, to say the least... that was a perfect setting to get engaged. So, without further ado, August 15th, my life changed... I was in the next phase... an engaged girl.
Fall 2007 ... too long of a story to include in this one, but Carl's sicknesses struck back with a respiratory infection (on my birthday, no less), that lasted 3 weeks. Then the fever and vomiting came. He ended up in the ER a few night in a row, ending with being admitted to the hospital with possible meningitis. Yep. That was a pretty defining moment in my life. I could lose this man... I just got this new phase of life less than two months ago... I'm supposed to marry this man in less than 10 months. Well, he pulled through. We were standing on the alter 10 months later and I thought, "This is it! I'm finally here. I made it to the next step."
After that day, it was quite an adjustment to get used to marriage. Something I hadn't really prepared myself well for. I don't think I was ready for the challenges, but also the extreme fun that we've been able to have together. Of course, the inevitable happened... the talk about having babies. We had talked before getting married about being married for about two years, then the "Baby talk" would start. Of course, I was ready for this next phase sooner than that, but he wasn't ready. We hit the two year mark, and truly, God made it really clear that we were in no way, shape, or form ready to have child in the crazy busy life that we led. Since that time, a baby nephew was born and he has been a true joy in our lives, holding me back, enjoying the "auntie" stage, because I knew the "mommy" stage would get here soon enough, but my longing to be a mom never went away. I thought about what it was going to be like to be pregnant, what I'd look like, what our kid was going to look like, how it would act, if it'd be a sleeper or a crier. With all this wonder, I was freaked. I knew, along with all the other phases of life, I couldn't go back.
Fast forward to Fall 2011... I was feeling the itch again... the one I knew all too well that said "I'm over this stage, ready for the next one." It didn't help that EVERYONE we knew was starting to announce that their bundles of joy were coming in the summer. I felt restless. On one hand, I was ready, but on the other hand, fear crept over me because of the unknown. It's been a process to get to this point, have I even learned ANYTHING about contentment?
Well, January came. We had discussed getting "off the pill" and not preventing the baby making anymore, but something really significant happened. We moved. "To a bigger place to get ready for the new phase?" you might say. Well, no actually. We moved to a smaller apartment, and I realized, I finally did it... I'm content and I totally trust God to take me into the next stage when He's ready to. So, deciding this, at the end of January, I took the leap of faith, stopping taking the medication, and full well knowing that it could take a while for God to bless us into this stage of anticipated parenthood.
Well.. that was short lived. I wasn't sure how my body was going to react to change of hormone levels and everything, but I truly was able to relax and see what God had in store for us... then my period never came.
WHAT?!?!?! I'm pregnant!!!! I can't even tell you how blessed Carl and I both feel... it's unreal. I'm only 7 weeks along, but with every sharp pain, and getting up in the middle of night to pee, I thank God for blessing us with this possibility of a baby. I'm eating the best I can, and just dedicating this child into His arms, praying that he will keep this precious thing safe until I can hold him/her in my arms in November.
Now, with this, I'm trying to take it all in. Not "wish" I was already a parent, but enjoy and have joy in the "process" of preparation. Okay, so I could keep writing and writing and writing, but I'm not going to. There will be many more reflections to come. (isn't it funny that I entered this new phase that is drastically going to change my body, just as I am in the best shape of my life!?!*Last post* God has quite the sense of humor!!!) Good night for now!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Being Healthy... addicting!
Sooo... on my 28th birthday in September, I decided that I was going to start my fitness routine back up, and man... has it been awesome! I started on September 17th and went to my first BodyPump class by myself. It was quite the experience. I didn't really now what I was doing, but after one class, I was hooked! I started that day with pretty light weights, just trying to figure out what I was doing. Well, once I get my mind to something, I kind of obsess. So 4 months later, in January, I was a firm believer in going to my BodyPump class three times a week. I started having "my" people and talking to the people around me at my classes Monday nights, Thursday mornings (totally addicted to my 5:30am class), and then on Saturday mornings. There were times I could talk a friend into coming with me, and other times, I'd drag my husband, but mostly, it was a release... A time away from all other people for me to sweat and feel myself getting stronger. Well, after all that time, I thought that maybe I should mix things up a bit and start running. I added a run or two to my weekly schedule and I was feeling good.
A few weeks ago, my husband, a strength coach, asked me if I felt like I was getting stronger in my classes that I was taking. I thought about it for a little while, and told him that I felt that I was leveling out a bit, so he thought maybe if I mix in some "real" lifting, I could see my progress better. I used to lift quite a bit, when the gym first opened up in Nov. '10, but through various events, sicknesses, etc, I had gotten out of the habit. Soooo... I've been lifting for the last few weeks, mixing in a 24SET or BudyPump class every once in a while. Yesterday, I went with my husband to the gym. We went our separate ways, but when I was to do an "assisted pull-up" and the machine was taken, I went over to Carl and asked him what I should do. He instructed me to go to this machine and do a "jumping pull-up" and then gently let myself down. "Jumping pull-up" is my own personal name for it. Anyways, I did one and he said, "Can you do a real pull up by yourself?" I looked at him like he was crazy. "No." He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?" I said, "I don't know. I've never tried!" So, all that to say... yesterday, I did my first pull up ever... and then I did two more after that!!!! It was quite the accomplishment for me! I was so excited... I truly have proof that I've gotten stronger! So, with the help of my hubby, I have gotten stronger! Yay me!
Now on the other hand, I absolutely LOVE running! I ran a 1/2 Marathon in 2006 and I loved it. Running is not my hubby's favorite thing to do. Like really... not at all! But, throughout our marriage, he has taken running up so we can spend time together. Anyways, I just convinced him to run a 5K with me and he took his training to heart! He runs three times a week for at least 3 miles... so good! This morning I went with him, and we ran five miles!!! I'm so proud of him. We're already signed up for the 5K, but we're thinking about running a 1/2 marathon in May! Neither of us have felt so good in our lives! Such a great feeling... it's addicting!
A few weeks ago, my husband, a strength coach, asked me if I felt like I was getting stronger in my classes that I was taking. I thought about it for a little while, and told him that I felt that I was leveling out a bit, so he thought maybe if I mix in some "real" lifting, I could see my progress better. I used to lift quite a bit, when the gym first opened up in Nov. '10, but through various events, sicknesses, etc, I had gotten out of the habit. Soooo... I've been lifting for the last few weeks, mixing in a 24SET or BudyPump class every once in a while. Yesterday, I went with my husband to the gym. We went our separate ways, but when I was to do an "assisted pull-up" and the machine was taken, I went over to Carl and asked him what I should do. He instructed me to go to this machine and do a "jumping pull-up" and then gently let myself down. "Jumping pull-up" is my own personal name for it. Anyways, I did one and he said, "Can you do a real pull up by yourself?" I looked at him like he was crazy. "No." He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?" I said, "I don't know. I've never tried!" So, all that to say... yesterday, I did my first pull up ever... and then I did two more after that!!!! It was quite the accomplishment for me! I was so excited... I truly have proof that I've gotten stronger! So, with the help of my hubby, I have gotten stronger! Yay me!
Now on the other hand, I absolutely LOVE running! I ran a 1/2 Marathon in 2006 and I loved it. Running is not my hubby's favorite thing to do. Like really... not at all! But, throughout our marriage, he has taken running up so we can spend time together. Anyways, I just convinced him to run a 5K with me and he took his training to heart! He runs three times a week for at least 3 miles... so good! This morning I went with him, and we ran five miles!!! I'm so proud of him. We're already signed up for the 5K, but we're thinking about running a 1/2 marathon in May! Neither of us have felt so good in our lives! Such a great feeling... it's addicting!
Monday, December 26, 2011
It's the most wonderful time of the year!
Well, I guess it's been a month, so time for my monthly update. I really wish I had more time to update, but wait until you see all my fun projects I've been working on. Seriously, Christmas time makes me so happy. I love the music, the lights, the "ambiance." It's fun, romantic, and just plain HOLIDAY!!!! It's been busy, but I've loved every moment of it. It all began the day after Thanksgiving. It's a tradition to set up the Christmas tree and all the decorations the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love it, and my husband even helped me this year. Then, I started the gifts.
This year, I made tile coasters with scrapbook paper, modge podge glue, clear spray paint, and felt.
First, you cut the scrapbook paper in 4"x4" squares. Then, paint a nice thick coat of modge podge on the tile coaster, then lay the paper square out on the tile and be sure to push out all the air bubbles. Then slather on one more coat of modge podge over the whole tile. Once dry, spray a coat of clear spray paint. After it is dry, cut out 4 small circles of felt and hot glue onto bottom of the tile.
The second project was little while board picture frames with flowers on the them. I started with those clear plastic frames. I cut out a 4"x6" piece of lined paper and slid it into the frame. Then, I made some felt flowers and bows. I just hot glued them on the frame. Super easy and cute. I also made a few with simple Ikea black frames. Fun!
So, on to project three. I LOVE displaying Christmas cards. In the past I've just hung them on ribbons with clothes pins... totally cute, but my new way is this.
Soooo... these aren't nearly as cute without the cards (scroll down for finished product.) These are tomato cages bought at Lowes. I, then, tied the tops together to form a tree shape. Then, I made a cone (with wrapping paper) to fit over the top. The last thing was to make cute out a circle of wrapping paper and hot glue it to the bottom of the cage. Fun, and different way of displaying our friends and family.
Two more to now... take a white wire hanger and unshape it into a circle (this is going to form a wreath). Now, take a box of sandwich bags (the fold over kind) and start tying.
After all the plastic bags are tied on, I hot glued ribbon, berries, and a poinsettia (but the flower fell off before the pic... oops!)
Different, wintery wreath!
Ok... last one... one of my faves...
What I used: styrofoam cone, buttons, pearlized pins.
What I did... Pin buttons into the styrofoam cone, layering them as I went.
I LOVE Christmas! I had so much fun playing with all these projects!
This year, I made tile coasters with scrapbook paper, modge podge glue, clear spray paint, and felt.
First, you cut the scrapbook paper in 4"x4" squares. Then, paint a nice thick coat of modge podge on the tile coaster, then lay the paper square out on the tile and be sure to push out all the air bubbles. Then slather on one more coat of modge podge over the whole tile. Once dry, spray a coat of clear spray paint. After it is dry, cut out 4 small circles of felt and hot glue onto bottom of the tile.
Ok... last one... one of my faves...
What I used: styrofoam cone, buttons, pearlized pins.
What I did... Pin buttons into the styrofoam cone, layering them as I went.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving
Gratitude is an understatement of how this "simple girl" feels. I have so much to thankful for. I've been sitting here at my in-laws for the last few hours contemplating this fact.
My husband is the joy of my life.
He makes me laugh... just tonight, he was building a fire. To keep the story short, he almost singed his own eyebrows off and the flames were higher than the mantle. I couldn't catch my breath or see because I was laughing so hard and the tears just kept coming!
So. My husband also wants the best for our life together. We found out this morning that we are for sure moving out of our apartment in January, due to raised rent. I know that this is stressful for us both, and we definitely want to make the right decision of where to go now, but he has been on his computer researching, researching, and researching. It's pretty cute!
He also indulges me in my crazy schemes. I love to do projects and cook/... okay, seriously, LOVE is an understatement. I'm fully in the project mode now that we're on break from school and Christmas is a-coming. Not only does he support me, but encourages me. I thinks my crazy ideas are awesome, which is fun and keeps me going. My newest creation is a snow white Christmas wreath... pictures to come!
So... all that to say... I'm thankful for my husband.
My family blesses me every day! Even though my parents live across the country, I couldn't be closer to them than I am right now. I love talking to my parents on the phone and counting down the days until our flight to Florida in Dec. (It's 24 days, by the way!) My sweet brother and sister-in-law and baby nephew are so fun. Every time we arrange a time to hang out, I look forward to it more than ever. My in-laws are pretty awesome. I've never really been as entertained as I am when I'm with them. I spent my afternoon steam ironing drapes for my mother-in-law. As much as I felt a bit stressed out because there was pressure to do it completely right, and not ruin her curtains, I had a blast listening and talking to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law! They are truly amazing women!
There's so much to be thankful for, but it wouldn't be possible without God. He's so incredible to give us blessings and even hard things in our lives. On Tuesday, I found out that one of my students lost his dad to cancer on Monday night. I broke my heart to think of the struggle that that family is dealing with right now, but the more it has sunk in, I have realized that though it is a difficult time, they are so blessed to have family around and friends that love them and that want to be there to support them.
At our church, we've been going through Romans (Okay... for the last 2 1/2 years, we've been going through Romans and we just finished the 11th chapter.) A ton of it is so over my head, but I've learned so much that God is sovereign and he has chosen us to be his children. I am honored and humbled that he would chose me.
Okay, at this point I'm kind of rambling, but these are my inmost thoughts just flowing out. I'll start posting my projects and experiences with the kitchen... Every time I cook something new or fun, I've been taking pictures, so I promise, those pictures will be on their way!
So... with that... Happy Thanksgiving! Be grateful for what God has given you, and don't forget to tell those in your life how thankful you are for them and why!
God bless!!!
My husband is the joy of my life.
He makes me laugh... just tonight, he was building a fire. To keep the story short, he almost singed his own eyebrows off and the flames were higher than the mantle. I couldn't catch my breath or see because I was laughing so hard and the tears just kept coming!
So. My husband also wants the best for our life together. We found out this morning that we are for sure moving out of our apartment in January, due to raised rent. I know that this is stressful for us both, and we definitely want to make the right decision of where to go now, but he has been on his computer researching, researching, and researching. It's pretty cute!
He also indulges me in my crazy schemes. I love to do projects and cook/... okay, seriously, LOVE is an understatement. I'm fully in the project mode now that we're on break from school and Christmas is a-coming. Not only does he support me, but encourages me. I thinks my crazy ideas are awesome, which is fun and keeps me going. My newest creation is a snow white Christmas wreath... pictures to come!
So... all that to say... I'm thankful for my husband.
My family blesses me every day! Even though my parents live across the country, I couldn't be closer to them than I am right now. I love talking to my parents on the phone and counting down the days until our flight to Florida in Dec. (It's 24 days, by the way!) My sweet brother and sister-in-law and baby nephew are so fun. Every time we arrange a time to hang out, I look forward to it more than ever. My in-laws are pretty awesome. I've never really been as entertained as I am when I'm with them. I spent my afternoon steam ironing drapes for my mother-in-law. As much as I felt a bit stressed out because there was pressure to do it completely right, and not ruin her curtains, I had a blast listening and talking to my sister-in-law and mother-in-law! They are truly amazing women!
There's so much to be thankful for, but it wouldn't be possible without God. He's so incredible to give us blessings and even hard things in our lives. On Tuesday, I found out that one of my students lost his dad to cancer on Monday night. I broke my heart to think of the struggle that that family is dealing with right now, but the more it has sunk in, I have realized that though it is a difficult time, they are so blessed to have family around and friends that love them and that want to be there to support them.
At our church, we've been going through Romans (Okay... for the last 2 1/2 years, we've been going through Romans and we just finished the 11th chapter.) A ton of it is so over my head, but I've learned so much that God is sovereign and he has chosen us to be his children. I am honored and humbled that he would chose me.
Okay, at this point I'm kind of rambling, but these are my inmost thoughts just flowing out. I'll start posting my projects and experiences with the kitchen... Every time I cook something new or fun, I've been taking pictures, so I promise, those pictures will be on their way!
So... with that... Happy Thanksgiving! Be grateful for what God has given you, and don't forget to tell those in your life how thankful you are for them and why!
God bless!!!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
There's always a first!
So here's a new first for me! I'm starting a blog! As a "girl" in my late 20's, with an amazing husband, awesome family, great job, kind and thoughtful friends, and truly blessed by her church, what more could a girl want? Right? Well... with all of that and much, much more, there's so much rolling around in my head that I'm finally succumbed to the fact that I need to take the time to write it down. Where that time will be coming from, I don't know! But it's worth a try, right?
So, thinking about a blog title... I was stumped.
So, thinking about a blog title... I was stumped.
- Do I want my blog to be about teaching? There's always so much to share!
- Should it be about sharing my passion for craftiness and cooking/baking? (And of course, my new found love for pinterest?
- Could I write about my adventures and forgetfulness? (Like the fact that I've lost my driver's license twice in past 6 weeks?) ok... that's just frustrating, but I do have some great stories of my adventures!
- Should it be about my constant struggle to "BE" the best I can be? ... I know, I know. Only by God's grace can I be the person He made me to be!
So, it all comes down to this. My blog should be about all of those things! I AM all of those things! God has blessed me more than I can even understand. And I want to share all of those complicated things wrapped up in this simple girl... BLESSED BY GOD! So, be prepared. Some days might be some fun pics of my creations and other days, I might just show you a little bit of my heart! Of all of the things to come, I hope you enjoy!
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