It's a "process"

So... there are so many phases of life, and in every stage, it seems that we're always looking forward to the next phase of life, and not necessarily enjoying the current stage. Well... I'm in the next phase and I can't believe I'm finally here. It's totally unreal. You might be saying, "What is she talking about?" Well, let me go backwards a bit... about 5 years...
Spring 2007... I was in love! I had been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year, after knowing him for over 5 years. I was ready for the next step... ready to be engaged and ready for that thing called marriage. Well, after a lot of "discussion," I knew it was going to be a while before my guy was going to gt to the same place I was. Then summer happened... pretty hard one. My boyfriend had gotten an awesome "career" job, even though he had a semester of college left. His first day on the job, he woke up puking and thus started his six months of sickness. All summer long, he was up and down, never feeling right, but doing his best to do his job and take his summer class. On the other hand, I was waitressing, had just left one job to start another in the fall. In the least, you could say we were in "transition." We went to a few weddings, and I had the itch. But he assured me, it was going to be a while, even though I was allowed to go look at rings with my best friend. My brother was getting married in August, so I knew that there was no way we could be in that next "stage" yet, but I so wanted to be there. I wasn't content and was always pushing. To say the lead, looking back on the situation, I didn't make it easy on my guy. August 11th came and went, with my brother happily married. I loved it and was so happy for them, but still wanted to be there myself. So... after the wedding, we had an "end of the summer" hoo-haw planned with a visit to friends in Phoenix, followed by a flight up to my parents, then a drive down to his parents. Well, to say the least... that was a perfect setting to get engaged. So, without further ado, August 15th, my life changed... I was in the next phase... an engaged girl.
Fall 2007 ... too long of a story to include in this one, but Carl's sicknesses struck back with a  respiratory infection (on my birthday, no less), that lasted 3 weeks. Then the fever and vomiting came. He ended up in the ER a few night in a row, ending with being admitted to the hospital with possible meningitis. Yep. That was a pretty defining moment in my life. I could lose this man... I just got this new phase of life less than two months ago... I'm supposed to marry this man in less than 10 months. Well, he pulled through. We were standing on the alter 10 months later and I thought, "This is it! I'm finally here. I made it to the next step."
After that day, it was quite an adjustment to get used to marriage. Something I hadn't really prepared myself well for. I don't think I was ready for the challenges, but also the extreme fun that we've been able to have together. Of course, the inevitable happened... the talk about having babies. We had talked before getting married about being married for about two years, then the "Baby talk" would start. Of course, I was ready for this next phase sooner than that, but he wasn't ready. We hit the two year mark, and truly, God made it really clear that we were in no way, shape, or form ready to have  child in the crazy busy life that we led. Since that time, a baby nephew was born and he has been a true joy in our lives, holding me back, enjoying the "auntie" stage, because I knew the "mommy" stage would get here soon enough, but my longing to be a mom never went away. I thought about what it was going to be like to be pregnant, what I'd look like, what our kid was going to look like, how it would act, if it'd be a sleeper or a crier. With all this wonder, I was freaked. I knew, along with all the other phases of life, I couldn't go back.
Fast forward to Fall 2011... I was feeling the itch again... the one I knew all too well that said "I'm over this stage, ready for the next one." It didn't help that EVERYONE we knew was starting to announce that their bundles of joy were coming in the summer. I felt restless. On one hand, I was ready, but on the other hand, fear crept over me because of the unknown. It's been a process to get to this point, have I even learned ANYTHING about contentment?
Well, January came. We had discussed getting "off the pill" and not preventing the baby making anymore, but something really significant happened. We moved. "To  a bigger place to get ready for the new phase?" you might say. Well, no actually. We moved to a smaller apartment, and I realized, I finally did it... I'm content and I totally trust God to take me into the next stage when He's ready to. So, deciding this, at the end of January, I took the leap of faith, stopping taking the medication, and full well knowing that it could take a while for God to bless us into this stage of anticipated parenthood.
Well.. that was short lived. I wasn't sure how my body was going to react to change of hormone levels and everything, but I truly was able to relax and see what God had in store for us... then my period never came.
WHAT?!?!?! I'm pregnant!!!! I can't even tell you how blessed Carl and I both feel... it's unreal. I'm only 7 weeks along, but with every sharp pain, and getting up in the middle of night to pee, I thank God for blessing us with this possibility of a baby. I'm eating the best I can, and just dedicating this child into His arms, praying that he will keep this precious thing safe until I can hold him/her in my arms in November.
Now, with this, I'm trying to take it all in. Not "wish" I was already a parent, but enjoy and have joy in the "process" of preparation. Okay, so I could keep writing and writing and writing, but I'm not going to. There will be many more reflections to come. (isn't it funny that I entered this new phase that is drastically going to change my body, just as I am in the best shape of my life!?!*Last post* God has quite the sense of humor!!!)  Good night for now!